sebastian-cock:

My talents include being able to identify every one of the 5000 songs on my iPod by the first chord and eating more than the rest of my family combined

eriadn:

we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”

ammit420:

aa0102:

Men look so ugly masturbating how does that make u feel

jokes on you i look ugly all the time damn wassup how u feel 

officialbrostrider:

helenaphan:

officialbrostrider:

i remember when i was 14 this kid asked me out and i told him i wasnt allowed to date till i was 16 and he said “i’ll wait.”

two years later he wished me a happy birthday and asked me out

did you say yes

DID YOU FUCKING SAY YES

image

mischievous-acrobats:

You know what I want the next Disney Princess to be?

An Alto.

taylorwifts:

IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT NOW I ADVISE YOU TO DO YOUR BEST SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND I DIDN’T DO SHIT AND NOW MY C’S ON MY FRESHMAN REPORT CARDS ARE KILLING ME IN MY COLLEGE APPS AND I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME TO DO BETTER SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN GOOD GRADES ARE COOL

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes